Volume Zero, Issue 1, Phile 6.1 of ?
M5PORKCHOP v0.1.6_iddqd00 - HOTFIX
"DSM, ESP & OCD"
--[ 1 - The Spectrum Situation
you're in spectrum mode. grinding XP. living the dream.
+1 XP triggers level-up. pig celebrates with 2.5s blocking popup.
from WiFi callback context. from the freeway at rush hour.
watchdog timer knew the rules. so did the pig.
...
pig didn't level up to L2. pig got full DSM-5 L2.
pig ran around and crashed you.
screaming.
reproduced. fixed. pig levels up. DSM-5 not involved.
(we see you. we're probably you.
hacker rpg tamagotchi release posted at 5am.
forgot to eat. the pig's spectrum issues are fixable. ours are features.)
CRASHES FIXED:
- spectrum levelup crash: XP popup from WiFi callback. watchdog. fixed.
NAVIGATION FIXED:
- backtick in client monitor: went to main menu. gaslighting. toxic shit. fixed.
NEW FEATURES:
- about screen: shows commit hash instead of build date. blame has receipts.
- client monitor: 4 MAC octets instead of 2. double the intel.
- client monitor: SSID shows 22 chars instead of 15. names matter.
UI CONSISTENCY:
- zeros: N:015, D:0042, HS:003 - 15 zeros deployed, military grade
- DNH: stops doing macarena on channel 9->10
- colons: deployed where colons belong
- units: KM, M, SAT stand tall
- dB stays lowercase - the B is for Bel. science doesn't negotiate.
- UI SCREAMS IN UPPERCASE - settings stay lowercase, sanctuary
0ne shot. 0ne opportunity. T0 seize all the zer0s y0u wanted.
m0m's spaghetti.
do ham or do not - there's no try. finger but hole.
--[ 2 - Shoutout
to the pigfarmer who leveled up in spectrum and got rebooted.
your sacrifice taught us about interrupt context.
to they who pressed backtick and ended up in main menu.
the gaslight era is over.
to everyone who reports bugs instead of silently reflashing.
the pig sees you. the pig is still probably broken.
github.com/0ct0sec/M5PORKCHOP/issues confessional open.
build stable. pig stable. mostly.
the worm ridden. the spice flowed.
m5burner image updated. praise the sun.
firmware.bin updated.
your XP is safe. your sanity was never our department.
OINK.
--[ Support The Pig
If pig saved you from buying a flipper,
cracked a handshake that made you smile,
or just entertained you for five minutes -
consider funding the next 3am debug session:
coffee becomes code.
code becomes everyone's pig.
circle of life. hakuna matata.
(not required. never expected. always appreciated.
pig oinks louder for supporters.)
--[ Legal
educational and authorized security research ONLY.
client monitoring is a capability, not a right.
deauthing devices you don't own is a crime.
tracking people without consent is stalking.
we made a pig that can hunt WiFi clients.
the pig is a tool. tools don't make choices.
you do. make good ones.
don't be stupid. don't be evil.
don't make us regret publishing this.
==[EOF]==