--[ M5PORKCHOP v0.1.4 - your pocket wifi attack hog.
You're holding 240x135 pixels of pure chaos.
PORKCHOP turns your M5Cardputer into a WiFi security toolkit
wrapped in ASCII pig art and questionable life choices.
It sniffs packets. It pops handshakes. It levels up.
The piglet gets excited when you capture PMKIDs.
We're not sorry.
--[ Stability Status
This release is stable like a horse on ketamine.
Standing? Yes. Predictable? Absolutely not.
+---------------------+----------------------------------+
| Status | PRE-PRODUCTION / EXPERIMENTAL |
| Crashes | Zero. Suspiciously zero. |
| Data Loss Risk | Low (XP lives in NVS) |
| Will It Brick | Hasn't yet. Knock on PCB. |
| Production Ready | lmao |
+---------------------+----------------------------------+
The 0.x version number isn't a suggestion. It's a warning.
This pig is still learning to walk. But it's walking.
Zero crashes in testing doesn't mean zero crashes ever.
It means the crashes are hiding. Waiting. Patient.
Found one? github.com/neledov/M5PORKCHOP/issues
We'll pretend to be surprised.
--[ What's New in 0.1.4
Bug fixes. That's it. Bug fixes that should've been caught
before 0.1.3 went out the door. Someone (me) was too busy
adding features to notice half the XP system was decorative.
*
The code review that finally happened:
"Hey, this XP event is defined but never called."
"This one too."
"...and this one."
"How did this even ship?"
Yeah. That conversation. With myself. At 2am.
--[ The Great XP Heist of 0.1.3 (Now Solved)
So you've been grinding PIGGYBLUES for hours, spamming
AirPods popups at strangers, watching that packet counter
go brrrr... and getting exactly ZERO XP for it.
The counter was counting. The XP was not XP-ing.
Someone wrote the event definitions, patted themselves
on the back, and forgot to actually CALL THEM.
Here's the full damage report:
+-------------------+--------+--------------------------------+
| Mode | XP | What I Forgot To Do |
+-------------------+--------+--------------------------------+
| WARHOG geotagged | +2 | WARHOG_LOGGED: defined, unused |
| BLE Apple spam | +3 | BLE_APPLE: existed in a vacuum |
| BLE Android spam | +2 | BLE_ANDROID: same story |
| BLE Samsung spam | +2 | BLE_SAMSUNG: noticing a trend? |
| BLE Windows spam | +2 | BLE_WINDOWS: yep. |
| SPECTRUM network | +1 | Entire mode had zero XP. ZERO. |
+-------------------+--------+--------------------------------+
Six XP events. Six addXP() calls that didn't exist.
Your rewards have been retroactively... not retroactive.
Sorry. Start grinding again. This time it counts.
--[ Achievement Math Is Hard
ACH_FULL_ROSTER: "Have 100 BOAR BROS"
MAX_BOAR_BROS: 50
One of these numbers is wrong. It was the 100.
Achievement now triggers at 50. Because that's the max.
Because I wrote both numbers and didn't compare them.
Also updated the achievement counter from 47 to 60.
Thirteen achievements existed. The docs said 47.
Nobody noticed because I wrote the docs too.
Quality assurance is when you assure yourself of quality
and move on. Professional development.
--[ GPS Pin Config (because hardware is pain)
You bought the wrong Cardputer variant? Congrats.
You bought the LoRa cap for your ADV? Extra congrats.
Here's how to make the pig find satellites:
+---------------------------+--------+--------+
| Hardware | RX Pin | TX Pin |
+---------------------------+--------+--------+
| Cardputer v1.1 + AT6558 | G1 | G2 |
| Cardputer ADV + LoRa Cap | G15 | G13 |
+---------------------------+--------+--------+
ADV users: Settings -> GPS RX Pin -> 15, GPS TX Pin -> 13
No reboot needed. Hot reinit. We did something right.
--[ What This Pig Does (Now With Actual XP)
* OINK Mode - Channel hop, sniff, yoink handshakes & PMKIDs
The main event. The reason you're here. Still works.
* DO NO HAM Mode - Passive recon for the paranoid
Zero TX frames. PMKIDs still work because physics.
* BOAR BROS - Your network exclusion list
Press E to exclude. [BRO] tag in spectrum. Don't pwn yourself.
* WPA-SEC Integration - Their GPUs, your handshakes
Upload. Wait. Profit. wpa-sec.stanev.org does the math.
* WARHOG Mode - GPS wardriving with CSV export
NOW ACTUALLY GIVES XP. Revolutionary concept.
* PIGGYBLUES Mode - BLE notification chaos
Apple/Android/Samsung/Windows. NOW GIVES XP PER VENDOR.
Your spam sessions are finally recognized.
* HOG ON SPECTRUM - Pretty 2.4GHz visualization
NOW GIVES +1 XP PER NETWORK. Staring has rewards.
Shows [VULN!] [DEAUTH] [BRO] because information is power.
* XP System - 40 ranks, 60 achievements, class buffs
All of it works now. Probably. I checked this time.
* Hashcat 22000 - Direct export for your GPU farm
The pig captures, you crack. Division of labor.
--[ Installation - The Only Way That Matters
M5 Launcher + firmware.bin. That's it.
1. Got M5 Launcher? Skip to step 3.
2. No Launcher? Flash it once via M5 Burner. Never again.
3. Grab firmware.bin from GitHub releases
4. Drop on SD card. Launcher -> SD -> install.
5. Oink.
Updates? Same thing. XP preserved forever.
Your grinding persists across firmware updates.
We respect the NVS partition even if we don't respect QA.
M5 Burner OTA? Don't. Wrong binary format. Bootloop city.
M5 Burner USB? Works for fresh install but nukes your XP.
The pig remembers those who respect the partition table.
--[ Hardware
Required:
* M5Cardputer (ESP32-S3)
* Tolerance for my coding oversights
Optional but recommended:
* SD card - for your loot and logs
* AT6558 GPS - for coords that actually work now
Also optional:
* Questionable ethics
* A code review process (we should try this)
--[ Credits
Developed by: 0ct0
Team size: 1
Pronoun of choice: "we"
There is no team. There never was a team.
"We" is aspirational. "We" is the dream.
"We" is what you say when you want to sound
like a legitimate operation and not just
some guy debugging frame injection at 3am
while the pig judges silently from the display.
The royal "we" - for developers who are
definitely not lonely, just... distributed
across a single physical instance.
Contributors welcome. The pig needs friends.
The pig's creator needs therapy.
Both are accepting pull requests.
--[ Support The Pig
This project runs on:
* Mass quantities of caffeine
* Sleep deprivation
* The faint hope someone finds this useful
If PORKCHOP saved you from buying a Flipper,
cracked a handshake that made you smile,
or just entertained you for five minutes -
consider funding the next 3am debug session:
https://buymeacoffee.com/0ct0
Your coffee becomes my code.
Your code becomes everyone's pig.
Circle of life. Hakuna matata. Oink.
(Not required. Never expected. Always appreciated.
The pig oinks louder for supporters.)
--[ Legal
Educational and authorized security research ONLY.
Don't be stupid. We made a cute pig, not a lawyer.
We also made bugs. Those are free.
==[EOF]==